You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
