During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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