So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
