THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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