So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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