it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
