Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
