4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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