is your mom at the bar?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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