So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
