This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
