Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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