She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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