Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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