My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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