His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
So vagazzling was a success
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
