We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
