K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
