For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
