I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
