I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
