Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you traded sex for a burrito?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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