i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
