thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
