trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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