There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Send help, water and tortillas.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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