ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
