She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
