i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
That's how pantless uber rides happen
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I need to align my fucking chakras
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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