Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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