A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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