There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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