Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
cat food counts as protein by the way
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
