I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
