I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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