I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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