He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
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