Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he told me I talked like a deaf person
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
