Say something about gay babies.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
