IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
