I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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