whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
