So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
