i think my tv is drunk
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
