I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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