PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We're too hungover to prance.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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