watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
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