When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
