I have demons in me.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
