Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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